It’s National Family Week!

Did you know the average parent sends 600 texts, 312 emails and spends 28 hours on the phone every year – just keeping track of the kids. In fact, one in five parents admit the best method to keep track of their child’s whereabouts is via social networking sites like Facebook, according to a study carried out among 5,000 mums and dads.
43 per cent of parents said that when they do try and plan a family get-together it’s hard to try and pin everyone down. Noel Janis-Norton, director of Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting and spokesperson for National Family Week 2011, says, “This isn’t just because everyone is busier. It’s also because children and teens are not getting an absolutely clear message from parents that family time is so important that it is non-negotiable. Parents need to take charge.”

What gets in the way of family time?

The typical family in Britain spends less than two and half hours of quality time together in an average week, down from four hours a week in the 2010 study. Here’s what Noel found, “Even when children and teens are at home, often they are in front of a screen, rather than interacting fully with their parents. This is partly because of the addictive nature of screens. But it is also because isolating themselves in front of a screen is one way that children and teens try to protect themselves. From what? From the repeating, reminding, nagging, threatening and shouting that happens when tired, stressed parents are trying to get children to focus on their homework properly, tidy their room, be civil to their siblings and go to bed on time. It’s a vicious circle. But parents can change this pattern.”

Noel adds, ”It’s worrying that in one short year quality time in families has been reduced by almost half. When children and teens prefer to be with their friends, either in person or texting, parents may wonder whether it’s right to insist on families spending time together. The answer is a resounding YES. We need to insist because otherwise screens can take over more and more of a young person’s life.”

Why is family time important?

Noel says, “Children and teens need to spend a lot of time with their parents. This is how young people will absorb important values. Parents are reluctant to insist because kids complain that it’s boring or that they would rather spend time with their friends. If you insist you will see that your children and even your teens can enjoy your company and at the same time be learning so much about life values and important habits. They don’t learn these things at school because it is not the school’s job. They can’t learn these things from their peers because their peers also, naturally, have immature values.”

Meal times

Alarmingly, one in ten families polled sit down for a meal together just once in a typical week.
Nick Henry for National Family Week says, “Small things like eating breakfast together as a family and discussing the plans for the day ahead are fundamental for a balanced family life.” 
Noel agrees: “All the research points to the many benefits of families eating together: better communication, better grades at school, more pleasant sibling interaction, more cooperation and confidence. Eating meals together even reduces the likelihood of teens experimenting with drugs, alcohol, and premature sexual activity. Parents intuitively understand that eating meals together can be an important bonding experience, but they don’t know how to make it happen.”

Here are Noel’s tips for spending meal times together as a family:

Plan: Plan for and insist on a few more meals together every week. When that pattern has been established, continue to increase it gradually. 
Don’t lecture: Teens may object greatly at first, but they’ll soon come to enjoy and look forward to family meals, as long as parents refrain from lecturing and telling off. 
Be interested: Avoid asking ”How was your day?” or “What did you do at school?” These questions almost always result in grunts or monosyllabic answers. Instead, show an interest in whatever your child or teen wants to talk about. And be willing to share interesting parts of your day.
Team work: After dinner, before allowing everyone to scatter, have all family members spend fifteen minutes as a team clearing the table, doing the washing up, tidying, feeding the pets, whatever needs doing. This eliminates nagging and interrupting children after they are already engrossed in their own activities.

National Family Week (30th May - 5th June)
For further information go to www.nationalfamilyweek.co.uk.